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GokuJr_GT
04-25-2003, 11:04 AM
DragonBall Z: The Lost Saga Chapter 1

<Goku is on Uub’s Island, training him.>
GOKU-“hey Uub! You are doing really good for a beginner!”
Uub-“Thanks Goku! Can you teach me a technique?”
GOKU-“Sure! I will teach you..Hmm..I know! The Kamehameha!”
Uub-“What’s that?
GOKU-“It’s a powerful move that can be used in the heat of battle but it is really slow.”
Uub-“OK, how do I do it?”
GOKU-“OK, this is how to do the Kamehameha. First you put your wrists together and your hands outward. Second, you pull your arms back to your side while in that position, then take one of your wrists and face it the other way, then slowly say Kamehameha while letting you Ki flow towards you arms, twist your wrists like they were and launch it at your opponent. I will show you how” <Goku gets into position> “Ka………me………..ha……me…..HAAAAAAAAAAA!” <Goku shoots the Kamehameha wave, nearly missing Uub and hitting a house>
GOKU-“oops!” <puts his arm behind his back and a sweat drop goes down his head> “I’ll fix it, I promise!”
<Uub’s mother comes out of the house and says dinner will be in 20 minutes>
GOKU-OK, Uub! Now YOU try it!”
Uub-“OK, ill try it!”
<Uub trys to do it, but can’t>
GOKU-“It’s OK! (Gives Uub a noogie) “Everyone has to practice and learn.”
<Uub’s mother calls them for dinner. >
GOKU (inside the house)-“I hope you have enough! Us Sayians can eat A LOT!”
Uub’s Mother-“Oh yes! I am aware that you can eat a lot, that’s why I made 40 pounds of Rice, Fish and Steak.”
GOKU-“Excellent! Let’s dig in Uub!”
Uub-“Yeah!”
<After Goku and Uub are sparring>
Uub’s mother-”GOKU! You have a call!”
<Goku grabs the phone>
GOKU-“Hello, Who is it?”
Gohan-“It’s me dad! I’ve grown back my tail with Bulma’s new invention, the Brute Ray and now I’m going to start training again!”
GOKU (nervously)-“Uh.OK, Son! Have fun, But remember, don’t stay out after dark or look at the moon!
Gohan (sarcastically)-“yeah, I know! Strangers will try to talk to me!”
GOKU-“Well I actually meant about the tail.”
Gohan-“Oh yeah! Don’t worry, I won’t turn Oozaru! I promise”
<Goku hangs up the phone>
GOKU (under breath)-“I hope so son.”
~END OF CHAPTER ONE~

So its been a few hours and no one responeded, people have looked, put no responses. My DBZ loving friends didnt like it..and i huess you people dont eaither! I guess you hasve NO imagination! :angry: :(

Vegeta Jr.
04-26-2003, 10:54 AM
It's OK. You may want to format the text differently though. Don't put everything that happens in brackets, and instead of
GOKU-"(insert what he says here), say (insert what he says here,)Goku said. It may change to Goku yelled, Goku whispered, you get the Idea. Although it sounds cool, writingg a fan-fic as if it were a script for a play is a bad Idea. I like the plot though! Keep it up!

Onigex
04-26-2003, 02:12 PM
I like it! really good! :lol:

GokuJr_GT
04-26-2003, 07:59 PM
thnks, try to write chapter 2 when get time..it will be good..trust me. B)

Onigex
04-26-2003, 09:52 PM
Hurry up! Hey give me some feedback on mine!

GokuJr_GT
04-26-2003, 09:58 PM
Originally posted by SSalex13@Apr 26 2003, 07:52 PM
Hurry up! Hey give me some feedback on mine!
Which one is tyours?

Onigex
04-26-2003, 11:56 PM
Dragonball V

Erin B.
04-28-2003, 03:28 PM
You're good at this, and your story is awesome. I can't wait for the next part. Keep it up! B) :lol: